My Past With Food

Some background:

Highschool: I was always overweight in Highschool, at least by 20 pounds. Starting sophomore year I would always lose between 10-15 pounds in the summer time and then end up gaining it and more. Starting January of my Senior year, I was deferred from my top choice University and increasingly became depressed. I therefore, focused on my ‘health’ and decided to get on a workout regime. By mid-April I had lost some 25 pounds and my heart wasn’t doing so well. From then on I ended up losing anothe 20 pounds while in treatment. That summer since I had lost so much weight I went to hopstial for in-patient treatment.

University: Come time for University. I will have you know I ended up getting into my top choice school. I had gained back the healthy amount of weight and was now at the very low end of the BMI for my height. I was so excited to be starting out at school and obviously wan’t to maintain my health regime. I ended up losing 15 pounds, and was back in the danger zone. So I panicked, they said if I didn’t gain the weight I would have to go back into treatment. I started gaining weight and for a while up until I it was Christmas time I was doing a good job. It very quickly however turned into events of binging and purging. Then in February, a friend of my at school died very suddenly in a hit and run. Things started to spiral from there. I was in a cycle of binging and purging and restricting. When I was in treatment before, it seemed that I had neglected to admit that I had emotional issues that I needed to conquer as well. I will just come out and say it, I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Hopefully I will get to talk about that more in this Blog.

That summer I came home and got my act back together with LOADS of help. I entered sophomore year better than ever. Things were good up until February and then like clockwork I was in a downward spiral only this time I wasn’t restricting or purging. I became extremely depressed and hardly left my room and ate and ate. I gained more weight than I ever have and as a result weigh more than I have since sophomore year of highschool. Obviosuly this is incredibly upsetting but at the same time I am trying to get my BPD in control.

Currently: So, now in the middle of my University career I am taking some time off to get things under control so I can finally achieve to the best of my potential.

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